Transformation of Relationship Addiction

Posted by Carol Small on Saturday, July 4, 2020

Interacting with our loved ones can feel fraught with challenges, and heartache. So much built-in expectations and entitlement. I have been asked why be in a relationship if it isn’t to get my needs met? Wow, I wonder if you can realize that actually holds the other person hostage to live their life to meet your needs. What if I could help you to see that love is first an inside job. What if you knew that self-love and inner connection brings such confidence that being together isn’t to complete you but to reflect your own self-connection. Imagine a relationship that was free of obligation and expectation. Such deep comfort.

Have you noticed it seems like the same problems come up time and time again and no matter how many times we talk it out? No matter how hard we try to find the solution to create harmony and peace and connection that we crave? We complain, negotiate, plea, process all to get understood and we try desperately to run from old wounds. Old wounding can leave us with such feelings of inadequacy. Those old wounds can heal.

Have you noticed when you need the other person to validate your existence or make you matter you give them all the power over your right to BE? Do you need their permission? But if I don’t do what they want they may leave me. Maybe they will, we can’t control that, but you will attract a better relationship when you appreciate yourself without giving yourself away. Hurt and wanting overtake any chance of happiness, and we are left feeling empty. That is called Self Abandonment. Imagine being in a relationship already happy.

What if I were to tell you the solution comes when we allow and accept the feeling of hurt, longing or wanting for just 10 seconds, face it, let your own awareness bring you home to yourself, and replace it with self-trust. Then identify the thought-form that creates the unrest? Is it even true? Or is it some old learned outdated thought. This will change our relationships directly and the hope to have the love, peace, and harmony that is our birthright.

The most valuable use of this life for me is to support the real change of suffering into deep comfort.